See enclosed your Complete Pet Poet Care Guide
Bringing home a new pet poet can be a scary experience. You’ve brought your new companion home - how can you keep your pet poet happy and healthy?
Nutrition & Health
Some new poet owners make the mistake of feeding their poet too many treats. They argue that their poet enjoys them so much, and that if their poet eats it, it must be safe for them. This is not the case. Please limit their intake of ‘people food’ to avoid nutritional imbalances. Poets require a carefully balanced diet, served in reasonable proportions, preferably with a runcible spoon. Remember that poets need a higher than usual intake of tea, calico pie, and no end of Stilton cheese.
Socialization
Many poet owners are surprised to find that poets do not always get along well with others. At the local park or in a cafe, you may find it embarrassing when your poet behaves inappropriately with others, or worse, refuses to interact with anyone at all. Remember, poets can only learn through experience. Time spent in the company of others can help your poet rhetorically flourish. Be sure to quickly correct inappropriate behaviors by distracting and redirecting them with a favorite topic, such as whether Plath is over or underrated. Behaviors that need correcting may include staring for uncomfortable periods, discussing oneself in the third person, unexpectedly bursting into laughter or extended bouts of personification.
Grooming
Although it may seem superficial and vain, it is worth putting some time and care into your poet’s appearance. Although poets are typically indoor creatures and therefore do not attract the dirt of some other creatures, they can benefit from grooming. Trimming their hair is particularly important, as it can quickly become unruly and impede their vision. When venturing outdoors, poets require jackets with sufficient pocketage for notebooks and pens. Whether velvet, patched or leather, a quick brush once a week can keep their coat glossy and presentable. Do be sure to empty their pockets regularly, as they can snag all manner of detritus in their long coats - seashells, butterfly wings, cabbages and kings to name but a few.
Playtime
Believe it or not, some poet owners forget the importance of playtime for their poet. This is a shame, as it is one of the great joys of poet ownership! A few minutes of pun-o-war, Scrabble or the lazy but effective game of ‘mute the tv and let them narrate’ can keep them frisky and expressive for days. Remember, an under stimulated poet can resort to unproductive coping strategies such as writing entirely in white space or collecting vintage typewriters. These poor habits can be readily avoided with a few daily minutes of wordplay.
Conclusion
Whatever your breed of poet - rhyming, lyrical or beat - they can thrive with the correct care. Treat your poet well and you may even earn that highest of honors - a dedication in their eventual publication!
Written by Aloma Davis
Writer Bio: Aloma Davis is an emerging poet. Despite her best efforts, birds fly in and out of her poems. In 2022, she was a national finalist in the Australia Poetry Slam; in 2023, one of her poems was in the International Human Rights Art Festival in New York; and she received a Red Room Poetry Fellowship in 2024. She divides her time between living in Melbourne, Australia, and living in her head, where she has a library with one of those sliding ladders, Haast's eagle as a pet, and work-life balance.