Written by Kayan Tara
you reply in english
at 9 years old when
your grandmother
holds out shrivelled hands
to bless you in tunes of
an ancient religion
you cannot fully claim
at 13 years old
you notice skin
not white enough
not even dark brown
like your supposed
desi brothers and sisters
you dream in red,
white and blue
at 16 years old
wanting green eyes,
and long blonde hair
when you go home
at 19 years old
they tell you your
tongue does not bend
right to speak the phrases
of your ancestors
so at 22 years old
you lay among
peach sheets
with a white woman
terrified you reek
in layers of betrayal